Lesson 394
Learn languages
(via Skype): Rainer: + 36 20 549 52 97 or + 36 20 334 79 74
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8) Not as long as I'm
here
A civil war between the
northern and southern states began in the United States in eighteen
sixty-one. The war was fought with great bitterness until the northern states
were victorious in eighteen hundred and sixty-five. However, until today,
many people from the southern states have neither forgotten their defeat nor
forgiven the people from the northern states. A few years ago, a group of
American tourists was on the battlefields of the civil war with a guide from
one of the southern states. At each location, the guide told thrilling
stories about how few southern soldiers defeated powerful northern forces
there. Finally, one of the tourists, a woman from the north, stopped the
guide saying to him, "but the army of the northern states must have won
at least one victory in the civil war?" "Not as long as I am the
guide here, Madame!" the southern guide answered.
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Dienstag, 21. April 2020
Montag, 20. April 2020
Lesson 393
Learn languages
(via Skype): Rainer: + 36 20 549 52 97 or + 36 20 334 79 74
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7) House of my dreams
A man was tired of living
in his old house in the country and wanted to sell it and buy a better one.
He had tried to sell it for a long time but without success. Finally, he
decided to solve the problem with the help of a real estate agent. The agent
immediately promoted the house and a few days later the owner saw a very
attractive photo of it with a wonderful description of his gardens in an
extensive magazine. After reading the advertisement, the house owner quickly
called the real estate agent and said to him: "I'm sorry, Mister Miller,
but after all, I decided not to sell my house. Having read your ad in this
magazine, I realized that it was just the kind of house I wanted to live in
all my life."
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Lesson 392
Learn languages
(via Skype): Rainer: + 36 20 549 52 97 or + 36 20 334 79 74
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6) Hardworking and loyal
The conductor of a music
group found it extremely difficult to prepare for an important performance,
since members of the music group were never all present at the rehearsals.
Then the last rehearsal before the performance came and again some of the
members were not there. At the end of the rehearsal, the conductor said to
all present members of the orchestra, “I wrote down the names of those who
were absent from our various rehearsals. Here is the list." He pulled a
piece of paper out of his jacket pocket and looked at it. "I see that
the only one who worked hard and was loyal enough to be present every time
was the drummer." The drummer blushed, got up and replied, "Well, I
thought it was the only right thing to do because I can't be performing
tomorrow."
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Lesson 391
Learn languages
(via Skype): Rainer: + 36 20 549 52 97 or + 36 20 334 79 74
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5) How to spell names?
One evening a policeman
returned to his police station and told the officer in charge that he had
found an old car without a license plate. "Where was it?" the
officer asked. "In Ecclesiasty Street behind the bridge," the
policeman replied. The officer opened the report book and began to write.
When he reached the street name, he started spelling out "E-C-L-".
He looked at it for a few seconds, then crossed it out and wrote
"E-C-C-L-". Then he got annoyed, decided that he was already too
busy with other work and said to the policeman, "write the report
yourself!" The policeman had a try, too. But after a minute he put on
his hat and started walking out slowly. "Where are you going?" the
officer asked. "Back to Ecclesiasty Street," the policeman replied.
"I will push the car around the corner into Smith Street."
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Lesson 390
Learn languages
(via Skype): Rainer: + 36 20 549 52 97 or + 36 20 334 79 74
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4) Ditto
At the entrance to a
large office in London, there was a book that every employee had to sign
every morning when they arrived. At nine o'clock, the manager's secretary,
who lived in a small apartment above the office, had to draw a red line under
the last name in the book, and anyone who arrived after that had to explain
why he was late. Usually the first person, who came too late when there was
thick fog in the city, wrote "Traffic jam caused by thick fog!"
under the red line in the book and everyone else who came after that just put
"Ditto!" underneath. But one foggy morning the first person to
arrive late wrote, "My wife had a baby this morning!" instead of
"Traffic jam caused by thick fog!" under the red line in the book.
Twenty or thirty people who came after him wrote "Ditto!"
underneath as usual.
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